Moment 159: The Most Important Sex Advice You NEED To Hear: Esther Perel

In this episode, the speakers tackle the issue of sexlessness in relationships, defining it through the lens of couples who may not have engaged in sexual activity for extended periods, sometimes even years. They emphasize that sexlessness is not solely about the frequency of sexual acts but includes various forms of affection and intimacy. The conversation aims to explore the root causes of sexual disconnect, including trauma, health issues, and communication barriers.

The hosts highlight that many couples struggle with discussing their sexual desires and fantasies. They suggest that effective communication is crucial and should not be centered on a performance model of sex, which often leads to disappointment. Instead, they advocate for understanding the emotional and physical aspects of sex, suggesting that pleasure exists in many forms beyond conventional expectations. Couples are encouraged to articulate their needs and desires in a non-critical way, fostering a deeper connection.

The episode also explores the impact of health issues on sexuality, particularly among older couples, where medications can significantly influence sexual desire and ability. The discussion expands to include the need for couples to have broader conversations about intimacy, desire, and connection over simplistic and often negative conversations about sex. Tools such as card games are suggested as a way to facilitate these discussions in a playful manner, making it easier for partners to express their fantasies and desires without fear of judgment.